2/19/2022

This morning, I tried plant based bacon. It is called Smart Bacon, 40 calories a slice. It cooks like delicate bologna and gets super crispy, which is a fun texture and goes well with scrambled eggs. Not a lot of flavor, so do not expect that any semblance of actual bacon. It’s smart bacon, like a smart phone, which does certain things for you, but does not make you smart. Rather it is a simulation of what you would like it to be.

Getting through the winter is often difficult, and this year is no exception. New England weather, just when I thought I had gotten it down, I realize in these winter months that I am always beginning, always realizing something new, or something that is there and in my over-confidence I forget to treat winter like it is my friend. It had been so very bitterly cold over the past month that I barely moved from my couch. As a result, I was not exercising, which is how I mitigate the winter blues/SAD, seasonal affective disorder. It feels like getting hit by a rock. I had been running outside before the snow came.

I had been gaining weight and not eating right and not running, and the result is this brick wall of the blues that makes me feel so defeated, like I am always repeating myself or somehow I inevitably dwindle down to a kind of sadness. This is something that is a fallacy, that certain patterns are inevitable or inescapable. There must be a solution, as nothing is permanent. I so often forget this idea, as the seasons change, but nothing is permanent and it’s never just one thing forever.

I can challenge the fallacy or untruth by working through in my mind by asking myself: how have I achieved goals in the past? How have I prevented the winter blues/depression before? I answer it: I have found that exercising/running/walking every day makes me feel so good. If it’s raining, I jump on my trampoline, and something so wonderful happens. I feel invincible after a work out, like nothing can get me down. I feel tough, like that horizon is an infinite sight line into the sun that helps me feel happy inside. When I feel sad, I feel as though success is not attainable. When I do not challenge these thought distortions, the sad feelings creep in. I ask myself to pull up historical evidence of success in my life and hold them up in my mind as the most visually compelling inspiration that I can focus on.

I can give myself a future gift to make my life easier. It sometimes takes a long time for me to achieve a goal. I am willing to put in the difficult work it takes to achieve long-term goals of living better, which takes lifelong maintenance. I so often forget this idea. I feel hopeful in remembering my capacity of giving future gifts to mitigate risk, make myself happy, and live younger.

Author: consingas

Hello, my name is Hilary, and I often find myself wondering about the many mysteries of life. Life can be more productive and fun when I step back and interpret it as infinite refactoring for discovery and enjoyment. That being said, I enjoy learning about the existential crises of others and the creative strategies people use to achieve goals through barriers, challenges, and obstacles.

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